


Slices of Pie

by DarkandTwistedSisters



Series: Bakers, Hunters and Pie. Oh My! [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Childhood Memories, Gen, One Shot Collection, extra scenes, free writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:48:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6611221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkandTwistedSisters/pseuds/DarkandTwistedSisters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This collection will feature little slices of life, mostly centered around Lilly and Mae. These are excerpts from our Bakers, Hunters and Pie series. A collection of one shots where we expound on something that happened in the series, or give a little more background on a situation. We write these when we get stuck or when we need inspiration; mostly just for a fun challenge. Warning, we try to make sure the spelling isn't awful, but we pretty much write these and post them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bobby: First Impression

**Author's Note:**

> We hope you enjoy these extra little insights.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby's known Mae her whole life, but what was it like when he first met her new friend Lilly?

_Wait, what’s Regina gotta do with this?_

 

Bobby raised an eyebrow at the small car heading down his dirt path. One lingering look was all it took, it had to be River. “Dammit, I just got home. Parents need ta parent better.” He grumbles, knowing that an unannounced visit from that woman meant that she needed him to watch little Lizzy for a time. He’d do it too, she was hard to say no too; not that he wasn’t going to try.

“River.” He calls out in greeting as Karen’s best friend immerges from the car. He frowned at the small frown on her face, noting how quickly she plastered a fake smile for him. She was worried about something.

“Oh Bobby, hi. I was wondering if you could just do me the teeniest ittibitiest favor.” River says as she shuts the door and runs up to her old friend.

“Uh huh. And what kind of _teensiest_ favor would this be? I just got home woman!” He complains, hoping to put her the least little bit off.

“Can you please watch L-Mae and S-Lilly for me. It would just be two days tops. Please.” She says, using the sweetest most cajoling tone she could muster.  

Bobby glares at her for a moment. “That ain’t no little tiny favor River. That’s two- wait,” He puts one hand up, catching the two names. “Who and who?”

“Please everyone elses is- Oh Lizzy is going by Mae now, and her little friend Samara is going by Lilly, long story. I promised Lilly she could spend the weekend at our house, and I can’t let Regina know I’m outta town. Please Bobby, it’s just two short days.”

Bobby runs a hand down his face. “Regina… the Mayor… What’s Regina got to do with this?”

“Oh Lilly’s their daughter. Another long story, but ya, the girls just want to hang out. They’re simple, just give them some books, and feed them.”

“What kind of damned mess did Lizzy get into?” The mayor’s kid. Little Lizzy would take that kind of quest on. Truth be told, it had been just over a year since he’d last seen her; and he missed her ‘eternal sunshine’ attitude.

“Not that bigga one. S-Lilly’s a sweet girl, and has done wonders for L-Mae. They won’t be a hassle I promise.”

Bobby can’t help the chuckle. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” He rolls his eyes.

“Please Bobby.” River asks, with a pout.

“Fine… alright you win. I’ve missed that little sprat anyways.”

“Thank you!” River shouts as she jumps and hugs the old man.

Bobby narrows his eyes as he hears the car’s door open and shut a few moments later. “Ya gave em’ a que?”

“Yes! Gotta go now, bye!” River smiles even as she turns and runs to the car, giving both the girls a kiss to their foreheads.

“Remember to behave, and treat Bobby well, he’s old.” River giggles to the girls, before she pins Lilly with worried eyes. “And Lilly, remember what we talked about, stay with Mae at all times right?”

“Right. I’ll keep her safe.” Lilly nods with a slight frown, pulling the strings of her hoodie tighter.

“Thank you Lilly. You’re my lil savior.” River says with a tight smile as her hand pats the top of her head gently, before she turns to her daughter and pulls her in for a hug. “Love you princess. I’ll be back soon, have fun with uncle Bobby okay?” She tells Mae softly, before stepping away.  

“Yes Momma. I love you.” Mae giggles. She turns with a wide smile and runs towards Bobby.

“Be safe River.” Lilly says before she trudges off to follow Mae, her eyes down cast.

“Uncle Bobby!” She shouts, jumping into his outstretched arms. “I’m so happy you’re home!”

Bobby can’t help but to chuckle as he picked his lithe god daughter off the ground and spun her. “Hey there sprat!” He greets happily.

“You were gone forever.” She pouts at him, before looking thoughtful and smiling again. “But thank you for the post cards.”

“You’re welcome.” Bobby chuckles gruffly before setting her on the ground, his hand ruffling her hair gently.

“Uncle Bobby, this is my best friend Lilly. She used to be Samara, but she likes Lilly better so I’m using my middle name too.”

“Ah, makes sense.” Bobby gruffs with a shake of his head.

“Uh huh. Member when I told you about the mean girl?”

“Uh huh.” Bobby nods remembering the many times she would cry over the girl who ‘hated’ her.

“We’re better now. Lilly, this is my Uncle Bobby. He travels a lot, and works a lot. And can be grumpy, but he’s funny and nice.”

“Grumpy huh?” Bobby teases, tickling her sides.

“Grandma Carlson- says I have- to start being- a proper lady.” Mae defends herself, gasping for air between breaths.

“Oh and that’s how she told ya to do it, huh?” Bobby says his eyes narrowed in playful scepticism, as he pauses his attack.

“Uh huh, you two don’t know each other so I have to introduce you. Come on Lilly, Grandma says you have to shake his hand.”

Lilly turns and shoots a look at Mae, in obvious betrayal.

“Has to Lilly. Grandma said!” Mae whines as she goes and takes Lilly’s arm and gestures it wildly towards Bobby. “Here, like we practised.”

“I swear to gods, stop it.” Lilly responds as she skillfully reclaims her arm, and hides both behind her back. “I only act like a monkey when getting paid.”

“Yeah well, I ain’t all that proper either Lilly. I won’t tell Grandma if you won’t.” Bobby winks at the small girl hiding in her overlarge hoodie.

“Sounds good to me.” Lilly responds as she turns her attention back to the ground.

“So, you two are staying with me for a bit. Lizzy- I mean- Mae can tell you the rules. I have a bedroom upstairs with beds you can both use. Stay out of the den for about an hour, I have some things I need to clean up in there before you two can- yeah.” Bobby watches the two of them for a moment; it was like comparing night and day side by side.

“Alright. Come on Mae, why don’t we go read?” Lilly shrugs, as she turns to Mae.

“And if you two run across any guns, don’t touch them.”

Lilly looks up at that, her entire being freezing beneath the hoody.

“I run a junk yard girly. I’ll get ‘em all locked up. S’not like I was s‘pecting company today.” Bobby explains grumpily, finding her reaction odd. River didn’t like the idea, but understood the concept of looters and safety. It was strange to see her react so scared. Must be a girl thing, Sam and Dean never froze up like that.

Lilly just nods, and turns to Mae. “Reading?” She asks almost urgently.

“Uh huh. Momma got me a new copy of The Hobbit.” Mae smiles, shaken from her thoughtful stare at Bobby.

“Great, we’ll read that. Show me where we can go read that.” Lilly responds as she nudges her friend softly.

Bobby jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Straight up the stairs, second door on the right.”

“Kay, thanks.” Lilly responds as she takes Mae’s hand and drags her up the stairs.

Bobby turns and watches them disappear into the house, letting out a sigh. He’d just wrapped up a case with John a few days ago. Had only just left the boys. For someone who never wanted to have kids, he certainly found himself in charge of them often. He shook his head at the sound of the slamming door. “Girls…” He exclaims; though he was secretly happy that Lizzy- Mae had found a real friend. Even a strange one.

 

_I thought he cleaned?_

 

It was just a little after noon when Bobby had finished cleaning all of his hunting supplies out of the bottom half of the house, moving it all into the basement. The girls had been surprisingly quiet and he knew they had to be hungry by now, so he washed up and went to making lunch. 

When he finished the sandwiches he called up the stairs. He waits for several moments for the sounds of them moving before letting out a deep breath. “Knew they were too quiet.” He gruffs before quickly making his way up the stairs. He stands in front of the kid bedroom, as he’d come to think of it, listening to the sound of one of the girls signing. He cracks the door open slowly, wanting to see what they were up too.

“Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust. And another one gone, and another one gone. Another one bites the dust.” Lilly sings happily where she cleans the floor of the room she’s in her hoodie covering a sleeping Mae. “Hey, I'm gonna get you too.” She sings as her eyes focuses on a spot and she cleans the old soda stain. “Another one bites the dust” She continues to sing happily as she scrubs the stain, giggling softly when the stain finally gives.

Bobby shakes his head. Of course she’d be a clean freak. She had been adopted by Regina. At a closer look though, Bobby noticed the small girl was covered with bruises in every stage of healing. His brows drew together, as he studied her in concern. He knew this wasn’t River or Tony, those two couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone their daughter’s best friend. Was she being abused? He could recall having the smattering of tiny bruises on his own arms when he’d been a sprat. His heart suddenly hurt for her, and he understood River’s insistence that Regina not find out she’d been gone. The Carlsons must be trying to protect this girl from her family. He knew he was going to have to have a talk with River when she got back.

Lilly freezes when she feels a shift in the air, dropping the sponge and rag into a bucket. She looked to Mae, catching the open door out of the corner of her eye. She quickly grabbed the hoodie off of her and dragged it over her head, sitting back on her calves to watch the man at the door wearily.

Mae shot up at the abrupt movement. “Is the floor still lava!” She exclaimed, looking around the room wildly.

Bobby chuckled and opened the door wider, trying his best to school his expression. “Why was the floor lava?”

“It’s covered in bleach.” Mae chirps as she looks between Bobby and Lilly. “It’s a game we always play when we first hang out anywhere.” Mae giggles.

“Oh, I see. I won’t take that personally then.”

Lilly pulls the headphones from her ears so they fall around her neck hiding behind her hood. Her thumb clicking her walkman off.

“I got lunch ready girls. I called up but no one answered. Come on down.”

Lilly stands up, offering a hand to Mae. “It’s slippery. Don’t be an idiot, clutz.”

Bobby shakes his head, noticing Mae’s barefeet. “I got her. Go on Lilly.” He walks over to pick her up, not wanting to deal with an allergic reaction his first day back on the godfather job.

Lilly nods but waits outside the door, watching the two of them.

“I hope you still like sandwiches.” Bobby teases, putting Mae down once he’s outside the door, where Lilly immediately reaches next to her.

“Mae doesn’t eat meat.” Lilly states.

Bobby shrugs, “What happened this time?”

“She came over when we were hosting the Rabbi and his family for passover.” Lilly shrugs.

“They cooked a baby lamb Bobby.” Mae explains tearfully, her bottom lip quivering at just the thought.

“It was more like ritualistic slaughter, for sacrifice for the first night of passover. I appreciated it… Mae didn’t not think the same.”

Mae quickly covers her ears when Lilly started talking. “I don’t wanna listen. The poor baby lamb.” She says loudly as she glares at Lilly.

Lilly raises her hands. “I’m sorry Mae, my b.”

Bobby just chuckles quietly. _Girls…_ “Come on you two. I made PB and J, just incase.” He assures Mae, patting her gently on the head.

“Thank you.” Lilly sighs as she lowers her hands.

The three of them make their way to the kitchen, settling into eat when Mae scrunches her face and looks to Lilly apologetically. “I have to use the bathroom.”

“Well go use it then, you know you don’t need permission.” Bobby states, questioning why she thought she had to even let them know in the first place.

“I’ll come with you.” Lilly comments pushing back from her seat, and follows Mae to the restroom.

 _Girls…_ “Guess that’s really a thing.” Bobby shrugs, finishing up his own sandwich.

They both come back a couple moments later and sit back at the table.

“Sorry.” Mae grumbles embarrassed, Lilly just rolls her eyes and pats her back.

“Don’t be a gidjit. Finish your lunch.” Bobby chides as he stands up.

“Yeah don’t be- that.” Lilly adds before she picks up her own sandwich and starts eating it, content on just remaining silent.

“You two got plans after you’re done eating?” Bobby asks, rinsing his plate under the running water before setting it in the drying rack next to the sink.

Lilly’s eye twitches hidden by her hoodie, before she turns and looks down at her plate in apprehension, before reminding herself it was just two days; and what didn’t kill you made you stronger. She was trying to remember if it was rude or polite to clean your host's house.

“Ooh, can we read in your den? By the fireplace?” Mae asks hopefully.

“I don’t see why not. I have a few things I need to work on in there myself, but you two can have it to yourselves for now.”

Lilly tilts her head at that. “It’s your den, if you need it we can read somewhere else.”

“Nah, I just need the desk. I don’t always mind sharin’.” Bobby explains, turning back to watch them. “I have a few things I need to take care of in the salvage first.”

“Yay! A fire!” Mae exclaims happily.

“Sure, a small one.” Bobby agrees slowly. “I’ll go get some wood for ya. Just promise me you won’t play with it.”

“I promise we won’t play with the thing that could give us third degree burns.” Lilly comments with an eyeroll. “How stupid do you think we are?”

“I can see why River likes ya, smartass. I mean no poking at it, no addin’ wood to it.”

“Wait so we can’t throw a bottle of nail polish into it either? Damn, I really wanted to dig shrapnel out of our faces tonight.”

Bobby hides his amusement behind a scowl. This girl probably was good for Mae. “We could always just, not have a fire.”

Mae whines and shoots a reproachful look to Lilly.

“What? I was naming the thing’s we weren’t gonna do.” Lilly sniffs indignantly.

“Go get your books, I’ll clean this up. Go on, get.”

Both girls remove themselves from the table and head back upstairs to their bags.

“What do you think of Uncle Bobby?” Mae asks Lilly hesitantly as she retrieved her book from the bed.

“He’s… nice. I like him, I guess.” Lilly responds as she pulls out her own book.

“I’m glad,” She smiles. “He’s one of my favorite adults. He’s gone a lot, but he always calls or writes to me.”

“I guessed that by the way you're always talkin’ bout him, dumby.” Lilly chuckles as she tucks the book under her arm.

Mae leads them back down the stairs and into the den. “I love this room. It’s like a small library.”

“A dirty one. I thought he cleaned?” Lilly says as she takes in the dingy room. Yeah she was cleaning this, if Mae was intent on reading here.

“He probably had to move his work stuff.” Mae shrugs, pulling a pillow from the couch to sit on the hearth.

“Ah. Right. Makes sense…” Lilly grumbles as she walks farther into the room, standing over Mae.

“You’re not gonna read are you?” Mae sighs, watching Lilly’s eyes dart around the room.

“No… I’mma do something more fun.”

“Says you. Cleaning is not fun.”

“So young, so naive.” Lilly clucks her tongue.

”You’re only a year older than me.” Mae tries to mimic the sound Lilly made, but ends up sticking her tongue out at her instead.

“And so much wiser.” Lilly adds with a playful smirk, as she ruffles her friends hair.

“Stop being ah jerk.” Mae whines, shoving Lilly’s hand off her head and smoothing her hair back out.

“Nah, you know you love it.” Lilly teases her, even as she heads back to the kitchen where she had found the cleaning supplies earlier.

And that was how Bobby found them when he brought wood in to build a fire. Mae was in her usual spot, already submerged in her book, and Lilly was wearing her headphones again, singing another verse of ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ as she dusted his shelves.

_Girls..._


	2. Bobby: The Origin of Jits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember back in Witch Pie when the boys believed Lilly was a witch? Luckily Bobby interrupted that interrogation, but how were the girls so lucky?

It was his worse nightmare come to light. He had just gotten back from a hunt and he had done a stupid thing; he’d taken a nap. By the time he had woken up after four hours of shit sleep, he had looked down to check his phone. A missed text reading SOS from Mae, and several missed calls from Sam. He sits up, putting his cap on his head, sighing trying not to connect any dots. No need to get paranoid. 

“No… no way… This can’t be happening. My luck ain’t that shitty.” He slams his hat on the ground before he stoops to pick it back up, “They ain’t the same situation. Can’t be. It’s been twenty years. If it ain’t happened by now, it ain’t gonna happen.” He rationalizes to himself and calls Mae, his heart dropping as it goes straight to voicemail; his gut tightening when Lilly’s does the same.

He curses, heading down the stairs as he grabs his gun and his keys before calling Sam. He lets out a slew of curses when Sam’s pulls the same shit, and goes to voicemail. In an act near desperation, he dials Dean’s number, slamming his door shut before heading to his truck.

“Bobby? Where the hell have you been?” He hears Dean demand.

“Been busy princess, what’s wrong with ya two idjits!” Bobby demands in turn, shaking his head at Dean’s attitude. Some things never change.

“We show up in your town with a situation and can’t-”

“Bobby! Bobby Singer! It’s Mae. Help!” Bobby hears his goddaughter call out for him, making his heart sink.

"Dean… is that Mae Carlson I'm hearing yelling for help? What the fuck have you done?" Bobby shouts into the phone, suddenly terrified for both girls, who were never far apart. He listens intently to the other side of the line. "Why don't I hear Lilly? EXPLAIN, NOW!" He snaps angrily as several very morbid possibilities play out, his foot planting down on the accelerator. He just knew, fucking knew that after all the two girls had gone through, Mae wouldn’t be able to handle Lilly dying. He’d have to have her move in with him, or risk her going to live with John. Oh and when John found out-No. This was not good, not good at all.

"Well Bobby…" He hears Dean breath out.

"BOBBY?! You son of a bitch! Your ass better hope these fuckers didn't do anything to Mae or so help me Gods, Singer-" Bobby lets out a sigh of relief at the short girl’s voice before he gets angry all over again. “YOU IDJITS LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW. WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, WHATEVER YOU’RE THINKING. STOP! SHE’S JUST AN IDIOT THAT DOESN’T HAVE AN OFF SWITCH, AND GOD DAMN IT IF YOU HURT THOSE GIRLS! I SWEAR- ONE OF YOU HAD BEST ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW. I’M HEADIN’ TA- I’M GUESSING MAE’S HOUSE. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO IDJITS THINKIN’?"

"Bobby, it's Sam. Look, Dad sent us here, and everything leads to these girls somehow being involved. We even thought- How have you missed this Bobby? They have Dad's extra phone, and we can't get a hold of him."

“I HAVEN’T MISSED ANYTHING YOU IDJIT! YOU ARE! JUST LEAVE THEM GIRLS ALONE!” He growls out roughly, before taking a deep breath in attempt to calm himself down as he took a turn too sharply, refusing to slow down.

"Sam. Whatever  _ is _ going on, just stop. I'll be up at Mystic in five minutes." Bobby snaps as he hangs up.

“They're all jits. Just fuckin’ jits.” He growls as he tries to figure out a way to fix this. He knew nothing good was gonna come from it, twenty years gone ta waste over one fuckin’ nap.


	3. Gidjits on Idjits: Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few months since John's tragic death and Mae isn't doing well after another worrying conversation with the boys. Looks like it's Lilly to the rescue.

####  A late night phone call

“Be safe.” Mae says quickly into the phone, fearing Sam would be like his father and would just hang up as soon as he announced he had to go.

“Thanks Mae, have a good night. Talk ta you later.” Sam responds before he hangs up the phone.

Mae pulls the phone away from her ear and looks down at it with a frown. She sighs and pulls herself out of bed looking at her clock as she left the room. Midnight… of course it is.

Without any clear indication of where she wanted to go, she ends up in the kitchen, walking in to the sounds of Lilly flitting about with empty jars lined up on the countertops. It would have seemed weird to Mae, except she’d caught Lilly cleaning random things more frequently as of late. “Morning?” Mae asks half heartedly, plopping into a seat at the kitchen table.

Lilly looks over at Mae with a raised brow. She puts the jar she’d been washing in the dishwasher before walking over to the table. “It’s midnight. What are ya-Nope, which Winchester upset ya this time?”

“Both, kind of. Mostly Sam. Did you know they’d met a trickster and Bobby had to save them?”

“Yeah, was talkin’ ta Bobby bout it.” Lilly sighs as she slid into a chair.

“Wait… Bobby told you about it? Why didn’t he tell me?” Mae pouts, her brow drawn together in confusion.

“Well,” Lilly pauses looking her sister over, before she just gestures in her direction. “Because this Mae. Because you get like this.” She sighs as she places her palms back on the table. “So When Bobby finds shit out he tells me, so I can be prepared ta talk ta you, when one of em talks ta you.”

Mae wraps her arms around her head, chuckling. “I guess that sounds right.” She lets out a sigh. “I just… feel bad for them-”

“You feel bad for everyone.” Lilly huffs, with an eye roll.

Mae purses her lips to the side, giving Lilly a small glare. She sits back in her seat, watching Lilly miserably. 

“Sorry, please continue.”

“They just, it’s one case to the next. They never take a break and they’re both constantly frustrated about it.” She lets her head fall to the back of her chair.

“Well, where the fuck are they gonna- Oh.” Lilly takes a deep breath. “So it finally occured to you they don’t have a place ta rest? Knew this was coming, and I’m okay with it. I actually think it could work. I mean, I knew your bleeding heart was eventually going to come and ask anyways, so I’ve actually already begun prepping the house.”

Mae’s brow pulls down as she turns in her head back towards Lilly. “What? Wait… No, that not… You can’t have them here-”

“I mean obviously, it will mean cooking for more people, but that can only be good for them. I mean none of them eat healthy. That’s a great idea Mae.”

“Wait, I never said-

“And I mean I never would have thought of it, I mean, I don’t care if they take care of themselves or like have a place to crash at if they need a break-”

“But-”

“But, I totally get why you care about that, gods Mae, you can’t always give into this impulse to help the less fortunate, we’ve talked about this.”

“I didn’t-”

“Mae.” Lilly sighs giving her sister a pointed look. “Really, it’s okay.” 

“But what about-”

“It’d be fine, you know they’d never stay long. And gods if you’re so determined about this, I s’pose I could give up a couple days.” She takes I deep breath. “I can do this for you.”

“But I didn’t ask-”

“And you didn’t need too, I knew where this conversation was going, and it’s your house. I know how worried you’ve been for them since John’s funeral, ya know? I mean John’s dying words ta ya were ‘Don’t let them push ya away.’ I mean, common Mae, I’ve been waiting for this conversation.”

Mae stayed quiet, remembering that phone call and John asking her to be there for his boys. She couldn’t argue with Lilly, literally couldn’t; Lilly wasn’t letting her. More than that though, she found herself not wanting to argue. She wanted to offer them a safe place to crash when they needed to, a place they could feel was maybe home.

“I never thought about it like that I guess.” Mae admits softly, playing with her fingers.

“Well no worries, I did. So, I’ve been talking myself into accepting it and the ramifications that could come from it. Which I have.”

“And you’re sure you’d be okay with this? With us offering them a place to stay? Oooh, we could maybe set up rooms for them?”

“Yeah, I was thinkin’ bout that, I doubt they’ve ever had their own rooms before, so I’ve been shopping around for furniture for the two end rooms, I already got them cleaned out.” She sighs out, resting her face against her palm as she watched Mae with a bored expression.

“Huh, you’ve really just been waiting for me to-”

“Yep.” Lilly deadpans.

It was not her idea, but she could see herself eventually coming to the same conclusion as Lilly. She wanted this, now that Lilly had put the idea in her head. The thought of them all living together and helping each other pick up the pieces, she couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips. She looked at Lilly, her eyes brighter at her sister’s argument “You’re being serious?”

“Yeah, yeah, what ever. You’re handling the little crap, like finding crap ta decorate the rooms though.”

Mae nods emphatically. “Okay. I can do that. Are you really sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want you to feel like you’re not safe in your own home.” That part of this equation still bothered her. She was sure they could find a solution for it, but not if Lilly wasn’t comfortable with it.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. I think it would be healthier for us to be more social anyways.” Lilly shrugs indifferent. 

“Should, should I call them and ask if they’d like it?” 

“Nah fuck that, we’ll just make the rooms an guilt them inta it.”

“What about Bobby. He was pretty specific about having feelings for them.”

“He was the one he pointed it out ta me, and then argued me into it.”

“Really? Bobby convinced you that this was a good idea.” Mae watched her skeptically.

“Inadvertently, yes, yes he did.” She nods, as she leans back in the chair.

“Ah.” It was that ‘inadvertently’ part that was going to bite them later.

“So, yeah. So jus’ let me know when ya wanna start your project.”

Mae stands from her seat excitedly. “You said you already started cleaning the rooms on the end upstairs?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll get started on them now then.”

“Right, I’ll help ya after I finish washing the dry food containers.” Lilly sighs as she stands up.

“Okay, you’ll know where to find me!” She rushes up to Lilly, hugging her tightly for a brief moment before letting her go. “Thanks Lilly!” She calls out as she runs from the room.

“Have fun!” Lilly calls back, a small smug smirk on her lips as she goes back to washing the jars.


	4. Twelve Days of Christmas: Gidjits Remix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright readers… Just a little warning… Twisted and I had a lot of fun and maybe went a little crazy with this one. We’ve wanted to write this since we edited our Christmas section in ‘Cursed Pie?’. We drew inspiration for this from the Twelve Days of Christmas song and wrote an anthology about obstacles the girls had to overcome to have the family fluffy feels with the guys on Christmas morning. We hope this explains a lot about what was going on with the girls. Each ‘Day of Christmas’ is not in chronological order. Enjoy :)

_ On the first day of Christmas _

_ My sister gave to me _

_  Kids on decorating spree _

 

Lilly jumps, interrupted from her ritualistic humming as she kneaded the bread for her daily offerings to her gods as Mae rushes into the kitchen.

“Lilly! Lilly, Lilly, Lilly!” Mae shouts as she runs right into Lilly, hugging her tightly as she prepared to beg, barter, and plead with her sister.

“Mae!” Lilly returns with a chuckle, as she turns around her apron dirty with flour, a small smile on her face as she studies Mae, seeing how excited she looked. “What’s up?”

“I was out in the sheds, going through the Christmas decorations, and I had a great idea!!!”

“Uh huh? Would it be donating all the decorations cluttering perfectly amazing storage sheds?”

“If that would make you say yes to the first part, but only the yard decorations.”

“Can I use the shed to store cleaning supplies and toiletries?”

“I don’t care, go crazy.”

“Then yes, yes all over the place.” Lilly nods turning back to kneading the dough.

“Yay, thank you! I’ll go make the calls.” Mae does her signature happy dance before she turns to race from the kitchen again.

“Wait! No! Who are you making calls too?” Lilly shouts out after Mae, racing out of the kitchen and tackling her. “Explain.” She deadpans wrapped around her sister’s back, like a spider monkey, her head resting on her shoulder.

“I’m calling St. Mary’s, to invite the kids over to help decorate the yard.” Mae laughs.

“Hm. That is not getting rid of the decorations.” Lilly observes with a thoughtful frown.

“It’s getting them out of the shed.” Mae points out with a pout before she shrugs, “And I’ll donate them afterwards.”

Lilly thinks about it for a moment, before a smile spreads across her lips. “I think they’d enjoy that. What a cute idea, Harps. Oooh and I can make a bunch of cinnamon dough for ornaments for the trees outside too. Ooh and popcorn ropes, for, you know, whatever doesn’t sleep during the winter? Squirrels maybe? Something keeps snackin’ on the herbs... It’ll be fun.”

Mae’s smile widens, “Yeah, that sounds great! We can make a whole day of it. Decorate cookies and drink hot chocolate and apple cider.”

“It’s been awhile since we did that, I think the kids would appreciate a field trip. And they’d certainly have a lot more fun with the decorations than we would.” She adds as she drops to the ground, brushing off the flour she had accidentally smudged over the back of Mae’s shirt.

“I’m even more excited now! I’ll call Mother Superior and ask her what she thinks of the idea… And then I think I’ll have to call Dave. I have no idea how to hook all those lights and decorations up, but I bet he does.” Mae hugs Lilly again, oblivious to the flour.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” Lilly agrees

 

_ On the second day of Christmas _

_ The gift I gave to me _

_ Two challenging meals _

 

“Shit.” Lilly curses as she paces across the length of the kitchen. What the hell was everyone going to be expecting? Should she make a traditional dinner? She usually made prime rib, but she wasn’t sure everyone would like that? And what was she going to make christmas eve? Should she make ham or turkey? Or maybe she was going at this completely wrong and she should make something unorthodox like corn dogs and burgers or something? She could always blend the two, or maybe just pick a theme and go with that. She could make an all italian spread, or maybe mexican? She let out a deep sigh as she pulled at her hair. What the hell were hunters going to expect? Why did they invite so many new people to their home? What the hell had they been thinking?  This was so much more difficult than she had anticipated, all she really knew was to keep the damned beer and liquor stocked, lest they run out and the damned hunters riot. She cursed again when she realized she didn’t know any of their preferred brands. 

She tore through the kitchen as she analyzed what they already had in attempt to help her decision. However after a couple of hours and a organizing spree later she sat down with a piece of paper and a pen writing the pros and cons of each of her ideas, with an increasing migraine from frustration.

Italian was easily done. She could whip up a bunch of sauce and make several different dishes ranging from a simple spaghetti and meatballs to Rotolo di Pasta, but if any of their guests had any conditions where they were prone to heartburn it would be difficult to really enjoy the meal. It was heavy and very hearty though, and fit very well for the season, but what if one of them had Celiac’s disease?

Then there was Mexican. It was fun and different, and certainly bucked the traditional option, but she wasn’t really sure how old any of their guests were going to be. She knew Ellen and Jo were mother and daughter but she had no clue how old either were, and Ash was pretty much an enigma of his own, she knew nothing about him besides he was brilliant at technology and that knowledge was doing absolutely jack shit to help her in this situation.

The idea of making it super Americana was really appealing as well. Dean would probably love having burgers and fries for Christmas, but the idea was appalling to her. She could forgive herself if she made the Italian or Mexican, but to put so little effort into their meal would be shameful, if not insulting to the people they’d invited; that they were meeting for the first time.

Which left her with traditional. There were two ways that could go. They would either think she had no imagination, or would appreciate the normality of it. She knew she could make all the meals Mae’s grandmother had taught her, but was it going to be acceptable?

She sighed as she studied the four lists one last time, letting out a slow deliberate breath; her loose bangs swaying with the push. “Fuck it! Traditional for both nights it is. They’ll live.” She grumbles as she scoops up the assorted papers.  “Mae’ll like that one the best anyways, fuck em.”

“Shit should I be thinking about lunch as well? Shit what about breakfast?! Wait- Shit are they staying with us?!” Lilly  wonders thoughtfully, her eyes widening in fear as she frantically yelps out “MAE! We need to talk!”

 

_ On the third day of Christmas _

_ The ol’ man gave to me _

_ Three New Friends _

 

“What in the world are you two wearing?” Bobby asks in exasperation.

“Merry Christmas to you to Bobby.” Mae pouts, crossing her arms in front of her red and green clad chest. The bells on her elf shoes jingling as she stomped her foot in a huff. “We just got back from St. Mary’s. Santa left us gifts for the kids and told us to be his helpers.”

Bobby just rolled his eyes, because of course this girls were booked right up until everyone started arriving. “Cool it Mae, I’m jus’ makin’ sure you gidjits aren’t over doin’ this. No need ta get all worked up.”

With a smile Mae pulls Bobby inside and walks him down the hall. “You’re forgivin. Lilly’s in the kitchen, I suggest not being in there. I’m setting up the dining room, we’re trying to figure out if we should go full formal or not at all-”

“Or maybe something in the middle.” Lilly contributes as they walk past the kitchen, they can just make out her stirring a large pot.

“Or that.” Mae agrees, looking to Bobby with big eyes. Neither she nor Lilly would want to admit how important this was to them, being able to pull off their first holiday. They were walking an unfamiliar line, and inviting new people over to watch them do it. People that their hunter family liked, and they wanted to like them.

Bobby drags a hand down his face when he sees the boxes the girls have out. Everything from Mae’s grandmother’s best china down to paper plates was available for setting the table. “Girls… yer puttin too much into this…” He stops when he notices Mae chewing her lip and toying with her fingers.

“We don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but we wanted to do a nice party so… Help? We may need an adult.” Mae explains nervously.

Bobby lets out a sigh. “Let’s get rid of yer grandma’s china. How about the christmas set your mom gave you? And for the love of- put the crystal away.” Bobby begins to help Mae clear the room of the boxes they wouldn’t be needing, and they set up the serving dishes for Lilly in the Kitchen.

They were in the middle of rinsing the serving dishes, when the doorbell rang.

Mae and Lilly exchange nervous looks while Bobby walks off to answer the door.

“Did we over do it?” Mae fidgets and looks around the kitchen.

“No. None of that shit. I already committed. You committed. It’s too fuckin’ late for that question.” Lilly immediately stops her sister.

“Did we do enough?” Mae asks with a frown, sharing her opposing worry.

“Shut up.  Probably? I don’t know either… This was yer fuckin’ awkward ass idea.” Lilly grumbles, as she rubs at her eyes. She’d gone out of her way this morning to cover the dark circles with makeup. The kids at Saint Mary’s were incredibly keen and often alerted to her health, especially the little ones.

“Sorry, I’m nervous. But uh, thank you Lilly. I know you weren’t really looking forward to this, and- I think everything looks amazing, and freaking smells amazing. Sprinkles I’m hungry.”

“I’m not a monster, there are relish plates. So take the trays and go host, Miss Congeniality.” Lilly comments as she stops what she’s doing and walks over to the fridge and pulls out the tray of appetizers, and sets it on the counter.

“Oh... oh yeah. I should- go do that.” She starts to walk away, pulling awkwardly at her outfit and wishing that she’d had time to change before everyone had gotten here.

“MAE! Trays!” Lilly snaps at her sister loudly. “I need to finish dinner. You and Bobby keep em’ out of the kitchen, I have like ten or so more dishes to finish up.”

“Right! Sorry.” Mae turns back to pick up the trays. “Got it! Wait, you’re not going to meet them yet?”

Lilly gestures around the kitchen; the food on the range and in the oven. The pies half made on the counter, and the potatoes only partially peeled. “And I’m not greetin’ people dressed like a fuckin’- What is this? An elf? No. I am jingling. I ain’t meetin’ no one lookin’ like this”

“Right… I didn’t get to change either. Why didn’t I change earlier?” Mae turns and to leave the kitchen, this time with the trays in hand.

“We were too busy triple guessin’ everything.” Lilly deadpans. “Now, shoo. Go Mae all over those people, make em’ tolerate me. Go.” She says as she pushed Mae out of the kitchen, wishing they had doors so she could be completely isolated so she could properly focus on the meals.

 

_ On the fourth day of Christmas _

_ The suspicious brothers gave to me _

_ Four Bobby rants _

 

“Bobby, Mae asked me what my favorite color is. What are they doing?” Dean asks when Sam hits the speaker button.

“Will ya two idjits cool it? They’re girls, what’d ya’ll expect? Damn. They just want you two to come home for christmas. It’s the first time they’re really celebrating the holiday in years.”

“Yeah, no, we hear ya Bobby. We just don’t, you know. We don’t want them going through a lot of trouble or anything.” Sam struggles to explain.

“Riiiiight.” Bobby grumbles roughly.

“And we’re not makin’ my deal a thing. I still don’t want them to know.”

“Yeah, sure let’s not tell the two with ovaries. Ya know, its yer decision idjit but who do ya think is gonna have ta deal with the fallout a that, ya damned idjit.”

The line is quiet for a moment. “You and Sammy of course. I’ll be gone.”

“Listen ya lil’ shit, yer the dumbass that forced ya way inta their lives in the first place and my damned god daughter has already lost lotta people. I swear, if ya don’t tell em’ b’fore it happens. I will make ya regret it.”

“Yeah yeah, old man. So they’re not over doing this then right?”

“No, ah course not.” Bobby snaps over the line. “They’re keepin’ it simple.”

“It’s not like we wouldn’t come-”

“Bull shit, you wouldn’t Sammy. Who do ya think yer talkin’ too? You hate the damned holiday, ya, Grinch.” Dean interrupts his brother, patting his back obviously amused.

“Ya already told ‘em you’d be there. Don’t ya dare break their hearts. Ya think Lilly’s bad now? You wait until one-of-ya hurts Mae. She’s ah unrelenting nightmare.”

Both brothers groan at the thought of that, each of them thinking of times when Lilly had just gotten the impression they had purposefully done something to Mae. Neither one of them wanted to deal with the consequences of that.

“Sorry Bobby. Just getting used to having family that celebrates the holidays I guess.”

“Don’t make excuses, just be there.” Bobby snaps before he hangs up.

Dean and Sam stare at the phone for a moment before they turn to look at each other. “Well I feel like that went well.” Dean sighs as he lays on the bed.

“Ya think?” Sam rolls his eyes, also collapsing on his bed.

“Oh yeah, we’re definitely his favorites.” Dean snarks sarcastically. “Ya know, I kinda feel like he was bein’ sarcastic when he said they were gonna keep it simple…”

“I don’t have a choice, I have to go, Mae and I are together, and since I don’t have a choice, neither do you. Live with it.” Sam growls.

“I’m not the one with the vendetta Sammy.” Dean chuckles as he teases his brother. “I’m rather lookin’ forward to it.”

“You’re just looking forward to the pie you know they’ll be making.” Sam rolls his eyes. He might not have been looking forward to celebrating christmas, but he was looking forward to spending time with Mae.

“Have you eaten their pie?  You’d be more optimistic if ya had.” Dean shrugs as he sits up on the bed. “B’sides we can be productive while we’re there.”

Sam face scrunches up in puzzlement before he rolls to look at Dean. “How?”

“Spend some time researchin’ what’s wrong with em.” Dean explains.

Sam pulls his buzzing phone out of his pocket. With a smile he reads a text from Mae before he starts laughing.

Dean narrows his eyes. “Something you wanna share with the class Sammy?”

“Bobby’s ranting at the girls and Mae asked if he’d just gotten off the phone with us.” Sam continues to laugh.

“Ah, so he’s worried they’re gonna go overboard too?”

“No Dean, I don’t think that’s it. But it’s funny that he does this every time we get off the phone with him.”

Dean can’t hold back a chuckle. “I’d say poor them, but this might be what’s keepin’ them from overdoing it.”

They dissolve into laughter together, for the first time in a long time, at the thought of the girls dealing with Bobby’s ire.

 

_ On the fifth day of Christmas _

_ The papers gave to me _

_ Five Interviews _

 

_ Who in the world was visiting after seven?  _ Mae wondered as she ran down the stairs and made it to the front door just as the bell rang again.  _ Anyone but Regina… Anyone but Regina… _ She pleaded before she opened the door to a stranger.

“Hello? Are you lost?” Mae asks as she watches the unknown man for a moment. It was cold outside, and everything in her wanted to invite them in, but Bobby and the Winchesters had recently put their foots down about the girls needing to be safer.

“Oh, no, actually I’m here to do an interview with the owner, if they’re home. Sorry, I’m Jeff Nealen with the Sioux Falls Gazette.” Jeff beams.

Mae let’s out a pained groan. “You're the fifth one today. Let me guess, you think our decorations are ugly and want pictures for your article?” She asks sounding completely done.

“Yeah if you don’t mind. They're all so… Interesting.” He pauses and turns to point at the cannibal snowmen. “You have zombies protecting baby Jesus, it’s just so… Unique.” 

“Originally they were going to be eating him, but the nun’s put their foot down on that one.” Mae chuckles.

“I’m sorry what?”

Mae sighs. “We invited the children from St. Mary’s home for children to come over and decorate our yard. They came over and we went through all the decorations my family had gathered over the years. It turned into a little competition between groups and the kids all had a lot of fun. So, if you want to call it ugly, go ahead. But that's cruel to those kids, they put a lot of hard work and creativity into those scenes.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest.

“Oh.” Jeff says, his eyes brightening considerably. “So you let the kids from Saint Mary’s decorate then?” He asks turning around and smiling at the gold mine of a story he’d stumbled into. This type of thoughtful community spirit around christmas always got eaten up and he was sure his editor would be pleased by the twist..

“Well yeah, we love spending time with them.”

“Well, do you mind going around and tellin’ me a little about each of the pieces? I mean if you’ve got the time that is?” Jeff asks his voice so sweet it may have put Mae at risk for diabetes.

Mae tilted her head to the side. It would be nice to actually give the kids credit. She turned to grab her jacket and boots. “Hey Lilly. I'll be out front showing a reporter the kid's scenes.” She calls out, not sure where Lilly currently was in the house.

“Seriously? A’ fuckin’ nother one!” Is her only response, followed by a litany of cursing.

“Told ya.” Mae smiles at Jeff as she slides into her boots. “Most of the other's just got my signature for the photos and left.”

“Well I’m glad to be one of the few who stayed. Stuff like this always makes folks more charitable this time a year.” Jeff smiles as he backs away from the door, allowing Mae to lead him to the first ‘scene’.

“It’ll make the kids happy to know more people got to see what they did too. I'm sure they’d love to tell you all about their art.” Mae smiles as she walks, more than happy to answer his questions about the decorations, now that she knew he didn't just want to make fun of them. She couldn't wait to let Mother Superior know.

 

_ On the sixth day of Christmas _

_ The bakery gave to me _

_ Six Callouts the same day _

 

Mae and Lilly had been called in at three in the morning and neither were too thrilled about it. Christmas was certainly not the time to enjoy owning a bakery. They were swamped with orders ripe in the middle of flu season. They’re overnight baker had come down with the virus and had called their manager to let them know she wouldn’t be able to come in, and then it happened; slowly, one by one, five more caught the damn plague.

“We should close for the holidays.” Lilly comments darkly as she pours more batter into their little tins.

“We won't be open Christmas eve or Christmas day.” Mae yawns as she rolled out fondant.

“When the fuck did we even get this popular?” Lilly whines as she continues her task, completely disgruntled. “Can you demand yer employees to get a damn vaccine? Or is that against OSHA or some shit?” She grumbles angrily as she taps the large pan of twenty four cupcakes for air bubble angrily.

Mae shrugs. “I dunno, that is a manager question. Maybe we could offer to help cover the flu shot, like a job perk or som-som-something.” She yawns again.

“Remember that for next year.” She snarks as she rubs at her eyes roughly, before she picks up the tray and slides it into the oven. “It’s just us and the squid up front.”

“It's just today.”

“I don’t think you understand how the flu works.” Lilly grumbles with a discontent frown.

“Victoria got the rest of the shifts covered. We just had to cover today.”

“I love her so much, why ain’t she the manager of this shit hole?” Lilly asks as she sets the timer. “We should pay her like one, have John train her on paperwork to make it legit. The other lil’ shits listen to her now.” She adds, before covering her yawn and turning to the pie dough.

“I'll let him know.” Mae nods. “And her.”

“Awesome sauce.” Lilly nods as she starts rolling out the giant ball of dough.

“I hope none of the packages get delivered today.” Mae frowns.

Lilly lets out a groan. “Now they’re all getting delivered, don’t let the universe know how it can fuck ya Mae. Thoth, have ya learned nothin’ from my mistake yesterday? I can’t believe I had the audacity to comment on how nice it was that we had employees to look over the shop. I’m such an idiot.”

Mae just lets her head fall to the counter. “Call the post office?” she mumbled pathetically.

“Doubt we’ll have the time.” Lilly yawns as she starts cutting the flat dough into circles.

“I can see if Todd will help us out.”

“If he still stops by here, sure, I think that’d be helpful.” Lilly nods.

The oven dings, making both girls jump. “I’ve got the cookies.” Mae offers, scooping up her oven mitts.

“Thanks, I’ve kinda got my hands full.” Lilly sighs as she rolls the first of many shells into a pie tin.

 

_ On the seventh day of Christmas _

_ Lilly gave to me _

_ Seven hidden sex toys _

  
  
  


“LILLY! ARE YOU SERIOUS!” Mae screeches, her face a bright red as she opened the long box. It wasn't Christmas yet, but Lilly's chicken scratch writing had demanded that she open it as soon as she found it. Which was weird, because she found it in her art supplies drawer. She had originally thought that maybe her sister had bought her a new brush set but inside the satin pouch just laid a large teal vibrater with a butterfly as the tickler. With a note reminding her she had started this.

“YOU STARTED IT!” Lilly calls back sweetly.

“THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO!” Mae yells back. Though she couldn’t really be mad, she also had gotten Lilly a new vibrater. A kinda scary looking black and red vibrater. With settings she couldn’t figure out.

“Did you finish the note Harps?” Lilly sing-songs as she leans against her sister’s door frame, a smug smirk on her lips.

Mae purses her lips to the side in frustration before she looks back down at the paper in her hands to finish reading it. “No. Lilly you can’t be serious. There are six more of these hidden around the house? I only got you one!”

“Yeah, well you better start hunting down the last six. They get more creative I promise… My gift to Sam really.” She chuckles drolly.

Mae drops the box and note on her bed and begins to tear her room apart looking for anymore suspicious boxes.

“Might I add that the ones you don’t find will be presented to you with the rest of the gifts. As you noticed the teal wrapping paper matches the rest of your gifts. You won’t even know which is which. Honestly I hope ya don’t find the rest. It’ll be amazing to watch your face.”

Mae shakes her head. “I don’t think you’re ready for this game Lilly. It’s gonna get so out of control.”

“Oh, I’m ready.” Lilly chuckles. “I was pretty creative this year.”

Mae pushes past Lilly and rushes down to the game room to start her ‘systematic’ chaotic search of the room.

Lilly’s laughs as she skips in behind her. “Warm.” She adds as Mae starts searching through the board games.

Mae frantically starts tipping boxes and books from their shelves as she searches, knowing that Bobby had been stopping by more and more lately without warning.

Lilly just plops onto the couch her eyes following her sister with growing amusement.

“Lilly, Bobby comes over. This isn’t funny. I don’t wanna tear the house up either.”

“Then search carefully. This is my christmas gift ta myself. I hope ya don’t find the rest of them.” Lilly chirps her golden eyes bright with her mirth.

“You’re a brat, no. You’re a bitch. This isn’t funny.” Mae stops her foot in frustration as she moves away from the shelves and starts working on the side tables and coffee table.

“You’re right, it’s amazing.” Lilly chuckles as she leans back on the sofa a lazy grin on her face. “Warm.”

Mae straightens up and glares at her. “Are you really going to at least give me hints?”

“Mae my darlin’ lil sis, would I purposely and cruelly throw you off the path to your own gifts?” Lilly asks with feigned hurt.

“I’m starting to believe you would.”

“I’m glad you know me.” Lilly winks as she lets out another giggle.

Mae stomps her foot again in frustration. “Lilly! Sam and I aren’t even having sex yet. Why did you do this?”

“Yet. For inspiration obviously… Plus-” She pauses her golden orbs looking over her sister’s pouting. “Look at you, so adorably frantic.”

Mae growls as she goes back to searching the room, Lilly tossing out hints as she raided it, She pauses next to the pool table and kneels to look under it.

“Ice cold.” Lilly sighs with a shake of her head. “You’re bad at this.” She responds her tone full of mock disappointment.

As Mae was standing up she turned to glare at Lilly, but stopped. There, in the storage shelf, was just the barest sliver of teal. Mae grabs it and holds it up triumphantly. “Ha.”

“Damn it.” Lilly curses as she lazily stretches on the couch. “Five more.” She adds cheerfully with a smirk on her lips.

Mae grips the fist sized package with one hand before she takes a predatory stance and stalks over to the couch. Before Lilly can recover, she pounces; the teal box tossed to the side as she straddled Lilly to keep her pinned. “You had your fun Lilly. Tell me where the rest are.”

Lilly’s eyes widen in surprise before  just looks up at her sister with a lazy smile. “Never!”

With a small smirk Mae hold her hands in front of Lilly’s face innocently. “You sure?” She flexes her fingers.

“No. You know the rules Mae! You wouldn’t dare.” Lilly threatens her eyes quickly filling with apprehension as she tried to twist Mae off of her, but fails miserably.

“Aparenty. Someone. Threw. The rules. Out. The frickin’. Window.” Mae explains calmly, accentuating her words with feinting of her hands and more finger flexing.

Lilly can’t stop the laughter that fell from her lips as she bucked and fought against Mae’s attack. Her sides super sensitive to her sister's touch as her lungs started burning.

“You just have to tell me where to look. I’ll still open them in front of you. But, you know you deserve this, you told me I was cold.” Mae jerks her hands to Lilly’s sides.

“No!” Lilly squeals as Mae’s fingers trail over her sides unable to contain the loud guffaws leaving her as she laughed and squealed through Mae’s assault. She hated how absolutely ticklish she was, but there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it.

“You did this. I tried to be nice.” Mae tells her in mock sadness as she begins her assault on Lilly’s sides, gently digging her fingers into Lilly’s skin as she tickled without mercy.

Tears gathered in Lilly’s eyes as she panted through her laughter. “No- Wa-Wait!” She heaves out, trying to get her hands free.

Mae instantly pulled her hands away from Lilly’s sides, but kept them at the ready; hovering just over Lilly’s stomach.

Lilly’s eyes brighten in relief even as she continued to giggle and laugh. “I- I Can’t- I- Ow-” She breathes out her face red from exertion as she grabbed her sister's wrists defensively. “No- More.” She pants, as she looked at her sister with fear in her eyes. Her sides and lungs burning from the lack of oxygen.

“I can wait for you to breath again. I understand you need air so you can tell me where to find all these stupid gifts.”

“Come on Mae, where’s yer holiday spirit?” Lilly giggles out, taking this reprieve to try and turn the tables on her sister as she bucked up unexpectedly and attempts to twist her to the floor.

“I’m not threatening to make you open your sex toy in front of everyone, now am I? Look at all my Christmas spirit.” Mae laughs and pins Lilly’s hands under hers, right next to her very vulnerable sides.

“Come on. That’s not even fair!” Lilly protests as Mae traps her arms with her knees. “I’m the older one! This is some fuckin-” Lilly rants before Mae starts tickling her again, as she let’s out another peel of uncontrollable laughter, tickle tears falling from her golden eyes as she again tried to dislodge Mae.

“Where did you hide the rest of the sex toy boxes Lilly. This hurts me a lot more than it hurts you, and of course I’m lying.” Mae teases as she moves her hands up and down Lilly’s sides. Her fingers dig and wiggle against Lilly’s ribs. “You just have to tell me.”

Lilly gasps as laughter escapes her. “Kit-Tchen. T-Teas!” Lilly bites out in defeat between the laughter.

“And…” Mae lessens her attack.

“Bi-Bitch!” Lilly squeals as she lets out another belt of laughter. “M-Mailbox”

Mae stops tickling in her absolute surprise. “Mailbox?!?! Really?”

“Ye-Yeah.” Lilly giggles her face scrunched in amusement before it contorts to fear as Mae begins tickling her again.

“D-Dean’s n-new fr-frid-fridge!”

“S-Sa-Sammy’s b-bathroom, un-under the sink.”

“Gue-st b-bed-room. U-nder. Bed.”

“Were you trying to get them to find them before me? You are not helping your case!” Mae attacks once more, her fingers ruthlessly seeking out Lilly’s sensitive ticklish spots.

“Uh… Fifth. P-plead!” Lilly squeals out in defeat, unable to stop herself. Her entire body shaking as she racked herself with laughter, the tears falling from her eyes relentlessly.

“You going to want payback for this?” Mae asks as she pulls her hands away.

Lilly pitifully gasps for air as she shakes her head vehemently ‘no’.

“Promise?” Mae glares at her.

Lilly just nods her head in defeat. “P-promise.” She huffs out with a small reflexive giggle.

Mae slowly stands up from the couch. “I’m going to go collect embarrassing packages and get your’s so we can open them together.” Mae glares, but she can’t help the way the corners of her lips twitch up.

“Look-lookin’ forward to it.” Lilly sniffs as she curls into herself reflexively, to protect her sides. Her eyes cautiously following Mae as she raced out of the game room. That had not gone how she had expected it too, but it still served her purpose.

Ever since Mae turned eighteen she had bought Lilly a sex toy for every special occasion as a joke and it had slowly progressed over time as a game of escalation. They went out of their way to embarrass the other, and she had been fearful Mae would one up her this year, so she had acted first. There was no way in hell she was willing to open one of Mae’s special packages in front of Dean or Sam, hell would freeze first.

 

_ On the eighth day of Christmas _

_ My decorations gave to me _

_ Eight blown fuses _

 

“What the hell were you two thinkin’ this time? Your graveyard of decorations of years past is really dangerous girls. I’ll do what I can, but honestly I suggest taking some of that down.” Dave cautions the girls, as his hand rubs at the stubble on his chin as he studied the extension cords, attached to extension cords, that attached to even more extension cords.

“Eh, the kids had fun with it.” Lilly shrugs as she looks at the cords with indifference.

“Can you fix it?” Mae asks her tone thick with worry.

“Girls… You know there’s a difference between interior and exterior extension cords right?” Dave sighs with apprehension as he flinches at one ball of wires, his hand coming up and rubbing his forehead. “This had fire hazard written all over it.”

“Ah… We ran out of the ones you’d given me before. I did not know that…” Mae admits with a frown.

“I jus’ figured an outlet’s an outlet.” Lilly adds, equally clueless.

“How do we fix it?” She blinks up at Dave.

Dave just stares down at the two of them and shakes his head in exasperation.“I’ll go to the store.” He breathes out in a long suffered sigh. “Give me your card, I’ll go pick up the stuff. I was not expecting this when you two called me… At least you didn’t wrap anything in foil this time..”

“Hey it’s a conductor, and a quick fix.” Lilly defends staunchly, arms crossed in front of her defiantly.

“And we learned not to mess with stuff, you really weren’t happy-”

“Yeah, again it is a serious fire hazard ladies.

“And that’s why I protected the walls with the fire blanket. I saw the sparks, I’m not an idiot. I just really needed the washer machine and you were on vacation, I mean I didn’t jus’ wanna go out and get a new one, that seemed wasteful.”

Dave just glares at Lilly. “You needed to buy a new one anyways after that botched Macgyvering, ya lil’ ankle biter. Though I do have to applaud the both of you for calling me first this time.”

“Hey, who’s paying who?” Lilly demands, mock offended as she places a hand over her chest.

“Mae’s payin’ me.”

“Right.” Lilly agrees shutting up.

“Sorry Dave.” Mae glares at Lilly as she hands him her credit card.

“Used ta it.” Dave shrugs as he accepts the card.

“I know that this is a lot of extra work, but we really do appreciate it.”

“No worries, this jus’ gives me a lil extra ta spend on the Misses.You guys already bought my kids one hell of a Christmas, with that pretty new kitchen of yours.” He winks at them.

“We aim to please.” Lilly grumbles with an eyeroll.

“Please, just don’t turn the power back on til I get back. Actually, Lilly, do you have some christmas shoppin’ ya need done? Cause I don’ trust ya not ta try an fix it, an it’ll just be bad if ya do.” Dave adds shooting Lilly an apprehensive look.

“Hey! Fu-” Lilly begins only to be stopped by Mae’s hand quickly cupping over her mouth.

“We do have a few things we need to go get actually.” Mae says quickly, interrupting Lilly’s rant.

“Good, I’ll get goin’ then. See ya two later.” Dave chuckles as he walks to his truck.

They both wave as he leaves.

Lilly sniffs indignantly. “I swear that man has some fuckin’ nerve. It was only eight fuses, give me a paper clip and maybe some-”

“Let’s go!” Mae interrupts again before she side glares at Lilly. “I can’t believe you tried to hide that from me.”

“You can’t?” Lilly questions.  “It’s almost like you don’t trust my handy man skills Mae, you wound me.” LIlly huffs with a frown.

 

_ On the ninth day of Christmas _

_ The residents of Sioux Falls gave to me _

_ Nine ‘decking the halls’ emergencies _

 

“Sioux Falls needs more fucking police and firefighters.” Lilly thumps her head against the wall as yet another phone call comes in.

Mae glares at Lilly over her own call, but nods in agreement.

They were sharing the secretary desk in the lobby of the sheriff's department. The chaotic Sheriff’s department. People were running around, some trying to go home before they were roped into another call, some looking overwhelmed even though they’d just gotten in.

Calls were coming in from all over the city and the surrounding county. People were having problems with their decorations; apparently this happened every year.

Mae shook her head as she finished her call, “We had problems too, I didn’t know you called the police for something like that.” She’d just talked a resident through  changing a broken bulb on a strand of lights, Apparently the first step was making sure the lights were unplugged.

“Yeah, but not like this. I mean nothing’ exploded in my face. Who knew toddlers loved throwing so much shit into fires. This is why ya shouldnt wrap hair products. They’re gift bag only.” Lilly whistles before she picks up the phone. “Sioux Falls Sheriff's department, what’s your emergency?” Lilly chirps over  the phone, as she scrawled out the information. “Right. Got it, someone will be to you shortly.” She comments before hanging up, ripping the newest piece of paper to the bottom of her growing pile.

They both look up as mugs of steaming hot chocolate are put in front of them. “How ya doin’ girls?”

Mae quickly put a smile on her face. Jody looked so over worked, the bags under her eyes were dark and she had lines on her face she hadn’t had before. Mae found herself wondering how the Mills were even managing to work so close to their first Christmas without… Owen. She couldn’t even find a voice to answer.

“We’re managing just fine Jody, but you’ll be the first ta know if there’s a real problem.” Lilly assures her as she hands her the stack of papers. “It’s from most important to least important.”

“Well alrighty then. Ya don’t like computers do ya?”

“Not unless you want me to buy office equipment and cleaning supplies.” Lilly supplies with a shrug.

“Right. Thank you for volunteering to help us out. But seriously girls, you’ve been here for nine hours. Go home and sleep.”

“Nah, we got a couple more hours in us at least.” Lilly assures her, with a dismissive wave.

“We don’t mind Jody. We can stay until it calms down a bit more.” Mae adds.

Jody lets out a harsh laugh. “It’s a week to Christmas, that ain’t happening.”

“Well more of a reason for us ta stick round ain’t it?” Lilly shrugs. “Maybe clean  a bit on breaks?”

Jody snickers and shakes her head at them. “Just- stay outta the files Lilly. I’m surprised you lasted this long without cleaning anything.”

“No files. Got it!” Lilly salutes her.

“She didn’t.” Mae mumbles as she quickly picks up the ringing phone. “Sioux Falls Sheriff's department, how can I help you?”

“What was that?” Jody demands pinning Lilly with a glare.

“We would never, do you really think Mae would let me get away with that?” Lilly asks incredulously.

Jody just raises an eyebrow at Mae, who was doing her best to avoid eye contact while she assisted the woman on the phone while she was typing information into the computer in front of her. “Uh huh…”

“Jody, do you not trust me? After all our wonderful years together?” Lilly asks with a mock pout.

“I trust you to clean like I trust Mae to not be able to watch you every second. Like I said, just stay out of the files. Do not organize them.” She glares at Lilly, one finger pointing at her to drive the point home.

“But you’re systems are so inefficient!” Lilly whines.

“But I don’t care. It lines up with the computer.”

“Fine, be inefficient.” Lilly huffs her head hanging in defeat, dramatically for a moment before she picks it back up. “Now shoo with you.”

“Thank you though, really girls.” Jody looks up at the sound of her name being called. “Duty calls.”

Four hours later, exhausted from their thirteen hour day of holiday related emergencies, Mae and Lilly make the trek out to their car, Lilly sliding into the driver's seat with a satisfied smile on her lips. “You’ll never guess what I found!” She chirps happily as she pulls out of the parking lot.

“Please don’t say drugs.” Mae moans, it turns into a yawn half way.

“Today is your lucky day! Nope! Better!” Lilly giggles happily as her hand slips into her purse and pulls out a bag several moments later, tossing it to Mae’s lap.

“Was it anywhere you weren’t suppose to go?” Mae asks before she looks down at the bag, the evidence bag in her lap.

“That’s.... debatable.” Lilly shrugs.

To Mae’s credit she didn’t act on the impulse to hit Lilly with the bag. “Why?”

“Bobby’s Christmas gift.” Lilly smirks.

“Was it an active case? Are we turning into thieves?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? No. A box fell when I was cleaning the shelves, and Sean’s the one who let me back there, s’not my fault they couldn't read my handwriting.. I put everything else back.” Lilly snorts before she thoughtfully adds “I’m not a complete idiot.”

“Oh. Okay then. Great idea.” Mae just shakes her head as she pulls it up to get a better look at it. “Is it a wallet? It’s kinda big?” She asks as she looks over the black leather.

“Why don’t ya rip it open and see?” Lilly chirps her golden eyes shimmering with excitement.

With a shrug Mae opens the bag and dumps the contents into her lap. The worn leather wallet opens as it falls, revealing a very real FBI badge. “Oh no…”

“Oh yeah!” Lilly corrects her. “Don’t tell me that ain’t fuckin’ badass gift.”

“Oh I’m sure Bobby will love it. He was saying that his badge holder was old. But wow, what in the world was this doing in evidence- never mind, shhhh, no. I don’t wanna know.”

“A’parently an agent had come inta-”

“No!”

“Inta town to take-”

“Did you not hear the first and second no?!”

“To take over operations for a string of murders in the eighties. I didn’t really care ta read the rest. I just kind of got ta the dates and stopped readin’.”

“So, really old case? I guess that’s good. Wow, they need to organize that back room.”

“Hey, that’s why they got me on detail. I got a good quarter of that room squared away to night, thank you.” Lilly sniffs indignantly, before giggling. “No , seriously though... It’s embarrassing. It’s not even in chronological order it’s just been flung in and forgotten about.”

“I’m sure your services were appreciated.” Mae yawns again. “I’m gonna appreciate my bed as soon as we get home.”

“Really? I’m hyped. I think I’mma start tryin’ ta wrap some of the guys gifts ta night.”

“I can stay u-u-up to help with that.” Mae offers.

“I can wrap in my room, you can chill on the bed an keep me company?” Lilly proposes with a small smile.”I can probably wrap some of Sam’s if ya want?”

“Sounds good. You’re much better at it than I am. You usually just redo my wrapping anyways.”

“I love you.” Lilly gushes.

 

_ On the tenth day of Christmas _

_ The customers gave to me _

_ Ten last minute orders  _

 

“What happened?” Lilly grumbles as she and Mae walk into the shop.

Victoria and John both look up from behind the counter. “Oh, uh.” John starts to try and explain.

“Fred didn’t know we closed after today and took several last minute orders for tomorrow.” Victoria sighs, her hand rubbing her temple as she looked over the order slips. “Should I call them? This is the first year you two shut down for the holidays isn’t it? I’m sure the customers will understand…”

“Uhh, do you want to fill them and have them come get them today?” Mae asks, looking towards Lilly, “What kind of orders?” She shakes her head, knowing that she and Lilly would never be okay with canceling orders.

John gathers the tickets towards him. “Eight dozen assorted cookies, three dozen brownies, two red velvet tree cakes. A vanilla, buttercream, and raspberry santa hat cake. Two pecan, two pumpkin, seven apple and three sweet potato pies. Three dozen decorated christmas cookies. four dozen christmas themed assorted cupcakes. Oh and five pounds of peppermint bark.”

Mae and Lilly exchange looks. That was a lot to do in only a few hours. “I mean, it’s not like I have a dinner to prep for or anything, let’s fuckin’ get this done.” Lilly sighs as she pulls off her jacket and heads for the back of the shop. “Inky, who’s on shift?”

“I can stay for a few extra hours.” She offers, knowing that the majority of the employees already went home.

“Please don’t tell me it’s just the two of you?” Lilly sighs as she turns around her eyes sweeping over John and Victoria with suspicion. “Where the fuck is da weasel?”

“He was afraid to see how you reacted to him taking the orders, though he did offer to call everyone and explain that it was his error.”

“Fuck it. Are the ovens on?” Lilly questions as she looks their employees over, with a frown.

“Leanna said she’d come in too. And yes.”

“Right, get the Amazon in here. Tell any employee that comes in or extends it’s three times their rate and in cash.” Lilly sighs before she turns to Mae. “Don’t care if it’s illegal. I want us all done with this shit by nine.”

“Yes ma’am.” John salutes the two before he disappears into the office to make calls.

“And see if anyone will volunteer to be in for two hours tomorrow so people can pick up their orders.” Mae calls out to him.

“Two hundred dollars to the volunteer.”

“OH me! I pick me!” Victoria jumps up and down with waving her hands in the air wildly. “I did not budget properly for Christmas! So much debt!”  

Lilly nods and and grabs her purse, pulling the cash from her wallet. “Thank you.” She huffs out as she gives the mousy blonde the money.

“Go call everyone to tell them when they can pick up their orders. I don’t care when, you pick when you want to be here.” Mae tells the girl with a smile.

“If you get the sugar dough started, I’ll roll it out while you work on the cakes. That way I can work on decorating while you do the rest of your thing.”

“Sounds great.” Lilly nods as she heads back to the kitchen. “When the calls are done pull the plug on the phone. We ain’t takin’ anymore orders til post Christmas. We’re done.”

  
  


_ On the eleventh day of Christmas _

_ I gave to me _

_ Eleven stupidly awkward gifts to wrap _

 

“Get your second wind there Harps?” Lilly chuckles as she finishes wrapping a silver ribbon around the box loaded with plaid shirts. The green paper glinting from the light of the tree they were near as she added the box to the growing pile of green ones adorned with silver accents. 

“Guess it was just from sitting for so long. I’m so glad we got a manager for the shop already. I hate deskwork, it’s boring.” Mae chuckled as she messed with curling ribbon, the only thing Lilly would actually let her help with.

“I know, I’m so thrilled that I got booted to cleaning duty. Fuck machines. Down with the system.” Lilly chirps as she pulls a smaller box to her. “Yo, what do you want to do with the Iphone?” She asks as she looks at the package with disdain.   

Mae shakes her head and laughs. “He has to go on the internet a lot, it’s a good phone for him.” She defends as she passes another roll of green paper to Lilly.

“Ech.” Lilly gags as she takes the roll from Mae. “ I mean, do ya want it wrapped special?”

“I’ll make a bow for it.”

“Kay. So yes? Do ya want to do it?” Lilly asks as she looks up at Mae, her head tilted slightly.

“I uh, I guess I want it special? If I do it you’ll just redo it. I can’t make it all flat like you can.”

“Ain’t that hard.” Lilly sniffs as she starts measuring the box to the paper and slicing through it accordingly.

“Uh huh. I’ll stick to bows…” Mae pouts, pulling the box of ribbon closer to her.

“Kay.” Lilly nods as the two wrap the rest of the smaller gifts with light teasing and banter.

Mae looks up from the bow she was making for Bobby’s gift, watching Lilly as she set a red package on the small pile next to her. She tilts her head to the side as she notices a pattern. Sam’s pile was all green and silver, Dean’s red and gold. She lets out a snort of amusement.

“What’s up?” Lilly asks looking up and over at her sister in confusion.

“Why is Sam a Slytherin?” Mae chuckles.

“What?” Lilly asks her head canted to the side growing more confused at her sister’s non sequitur comment.

“I mean, totally can see Dean as a Gryffindor. But Sam’s more of a Ravenclaw I think.”

“Kay, no. Sam’s a definite Slytherin… But where did this come from?” Lilly snorts as she looks at her sister, amusement glistening in her eyes.

“Nope, Ravenclaw. But you… wait… you didn’t do it on purpose?”

“Do what on purpose?” Lilly asks.

“Lilly, look at their gifts and tell me you can’t see it.”

Lilly turns towards the piles of gifts her face puzzled, until it finally clicks. “Oh… Whoops… Huh. Freudian much?” She giggles as she shakes her head in amusement.

Mae tips back and starts rolling on the ground in her laughter.

“Well, I wasn’t wrong.” Lilly chuckles.  “If I assigned them houses that’s where I would put them.”

“Nah… Sam’s a Ravenclaw. He loves learning.”

“Nah, he has more social skills than that.” Lilly shrugs.

“Are we talking about our Winchesters? The ones that can fake social skills as needed?”

“Yeah Ravenclaws can’t do that. Gryffindors and Slytherin can their charismatic.”

“So, what I’m hearing is you're a Ravenclaw?” Mae manages to get out between bouts of laughter,

“I feel like the hat would have respected my badgerin’ and put me in the one true house; Hufflepuff.” Lilly counters with a shrug.

Mae pulls herself up and wipes at her eyes. “Heck yeah we’d have rocked that house.”

Lilly chuckles as she puts the last red gift in the pile before she turns to the larger boxes with a thoughtful look. “Should we assemble them for the guys? I’m not sure how long they’ll be here and I kinda think it’d be shitty to have em assemble their own gifts…”

Mae bites her bottom lip as she looks around the room. There wasn’t much left to still wrap, but it was all huge stuff. She let out a groan as she realized that this wasn’t everything either. “I think we should get it set up. I’m not doubting your ability to wrap a grill or a weight set, and I agree, I wouldn’t want them to have to get their gifts put together themselves. I could call Dave.”

Lilly looks at the grill on the box for several moments trying to best way to go about it. “I think I can figure it out… Oh you meant assembly? Uh…” She asks with a click of her tongue thinking about it.

“Yeah, I’ll call Dave.”

“Right. Good plan. I don’t want it to blow up… But he just finished putting up Dean’s shelves and cabinets in the garage… OH we can offer to finish his Christmas shopping!”

“And wrapping. He’d love that.” Mae chirps, excited that they had something more to offer Dave than just money.

“Right! Let’s do that then! I don’t trust our ability to not fuck up the assembly. I’ll go whip up a batch of peanut butter bulls eyes too, his kids and wife love those. I feel bad we keep callin’ the poor guy this close to Christmas.” Lilly sighs as she runs her hands through her hair.

“I’ll just send him an email asking him to call in the morning

“Awesome. Oh and are we’re jus’ givin’ our employees cash this year again right?” Lilly asks.

“It sounded like a majority of them wanted a bonus instead of a gift this year.” Mae just shrugs, it was only their second Christmas with employees.

“Sounds good to me. I got Inky another squid plushie… I couldn’t stop myself.” Lilly chuckles as she digs through a bag and pulls out a small pink chibi squid. “Her face last year was priceless, an’ I kinda wanna make it a tradition.”

“Fair. I guess.” Mae chuckles and pulls out her own bags. “I’m making them candy stockings.”

“Sounds good.” Lilly smiles as she stands up and stretches out her stiff muscles.

“So, not wrapping the big gifts?”

“Oh no, I’m wrapping them just not til they’re assembled.” Lilly assures her. “Wanna join me in the kitchen?”

“Yeah sure, let me just go grab my laptop and I’ll meet ya there.” Mae chuckles as she bounces to her feet.

 

_ On the twelfth day of Christmas _

_ Satan gave to me _

_ Twelve Missed Mom Calls _

 

“Bye guys! Merry Christmas!” Mae called out as she and Lilly were leaving the playroom at St. Mary’s. She smiles as she gets swarmed one last time by the older kids while Lilly becomes a playground for the younger ones.

“All right now children, thank the girls one last time and let them leave. We have a dinner we all need to work on, and it sounds like they do too.”” Mother Superior gently chides her flock, beckoning them away from Mae and Lilly.

“Merry Christmas.” The children all choirs, leaving Mae and Lilly free to leave. They jingle as they walk back out to their car.

“That went well, but now I have to rush through getting dinner finished.” Lilly grumbles, sliding into the driver's seat. “I can’t believe you talked me into wearing this stupidly, ridiculous outfit.”

Mae pouts for a moment. “I think they're cute.”

“I’m already short Mae…” Lilly sighs as she backs out of the drive and heads home. “Teenagers are ruthless, I think I heard every fictional short joke in the book tonight, If one more person calls me a Keebler elf I will lose my shit.”

“The babies loved you. And I think that was more of a baker's joke.”

“I. Will. Bite. You.” Lilly snaps as she rips the green cap from her head and roughly throws it to the back seat, the bells jingling merrily at it’s treatment.

They both look down as Lilly’s phone lights up and Ludacris ‘Get Back’ blares from it’s speakers. “Oh fuck me, guess she finally noticed we shut down the shop. Wonderful.” Lilly spits as she picks up her phone and slams it into the front console until it went silent.

“You know there is actually an ignore button right? Far less violent way to silence the phone.” Mae chuckles, watching as Lilly tosses her phone back into the cupholder between them. “I’m guessing you didn’t tell her we are doing our own Christmas this year.”

Lilly shrugs. “We’re usually working. She didn’t ask last year.”

“You don’t think she’d just show up at home do you? We’re going to have so many new people over…” Mae plucks at a bell on her wrist.

“Ehhh. Eh. Noo?” Lilly responds with a frown as she thought about it. “Nah. I think we’re good. I hope. No. I know, no. She wouldn’t.”

“Should… should we call her-”

“Shut your face! Shut your face. No.”

They both jump as the phone begins to play the ringtone again.

“Not it.” Mae chirps.

“Fuck you. You summoned her.” Lilly huffs as she flips open her phone. “Yo, s’up?” She drawls into the phone as greeting.

“Samara Lilly O’Connell. How dare you ignore my calls, and then have the audacity to speak to me like that. You are a young lady, not a street urchin hoodlum.”

“Uh huh. Merry Christmas mother.”

“Yes, well. Speaking of Christmas. I was going to stop by the bakery to see you except it was closed.”

“Yeah, we’re tryin’ somethin’ different this year. Takin’ it ol’ school ya know? Orgies and sacrifices ya know?”

“Samara! Don’t even joke about that. I swear, I don’t understand what happened with you.”

“Really ya paid for ten years ah councelin’ an’ ya still don’ know whats wrong with me?” She sniffs indignantly. “I’d getta refund.”

Lilly hears Regina’s signature disgruntled snort. “Samara, I was calling to let you know you are expected at dinner tomorrow night. It’s going-”

“But I have ten people in animal masks showin’ up tomorrow. It’s gonna be a ‘eyes wide shut’ thing. It’s our Christmas gift to one another.”

“Fine, ruin my campaign. All for a few short lived thrills and risks. You and Elizabeth- you two, are nothing but trouble.”

“But think of it this way, if I get a terminal illness it’ll do wonders for your campaign. Think of all the hospital room shoots as I’m slowing losing the battle. You’d love it.”

“Good bye Samara.”

“Crisis…?” Mae begins tentatively after Lilly stares at her phone for a second.

“Averted.” Lilly shrugs as she snaps her phone shut. “That’ll keep that hair right across her ass for a bit. I’ll deal with the repercussions later. I’ll apologize to Dale later.”

Mae smiles and leans back into her seat. “Dale never stays mad for long. And we got him his favorite bottle of Bourbon this year.”

“Nah I’mma have ta get him a crate of that shit. She’s gonna be a bitch ta handle. But I didn’t want mother runnin’’ in ta the hunters or the hunters runnin’ in ta her.” Lilly breathes out, as she runs a hand through her hair. “This was definitely for the best.”

Maes silent for a moment before changing the subject. “Hey did you ever manage to wrap the grill and weight set?” She asks thoughtfully.

Lilly’s face darkens at the question, her knuckles tightening around the wheel. “We’re not talking about that.” She sniffs indignantly.  

* * *

  
  
  


_ On the twelfth day of Christmas _

_ Fate gave to me _

_ Twelve missed mom calls _

_ Eleven stupidly awkward gifts to wrap _

_ Ten last minute orders _

_ Nine ‘decking the halls’ emergencies _

_ Eight blown fuses _

_ Seven hidden sex toys _

_ Six callouts the same day _

_ Five interviews _

_ Four Bobby rants _

_ Three new friends _

_ Two challenging meals _

_ And kids on a decorating spree _  
  


* * *

 

In the spirit of Christmas

We baked a virtual Pie for our Readers!

Thank you so much for your support!

 

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For every one of you following and reading our story we thank you!

For those of you reviewing, you really make our day!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

1

Mae frowns as she’s dragged down the street by a very determined Lilly. The two of them weaving as they keep as much distance from the other pedestrians as humanly possible. 

“Come on Lilly! Just tell me where we're going!” Mae pants as she works to keep up. Lilly had an unusual pep to her step that she just wasn’t use to, and she was never this excited to go to school anymore. She groaned. They were going to get in trouble again she just knew it. Regina was going to blow it out of proportion, and Lilly was gonna get grounded again. She could feel it. Lilly this happy, this early meant nothing good; she’d bet her prized rose bush on it.

“No time, keep moving.” Lilly shouts over her shoulder with glee.

“What are we doing!?” Mae whines as they turn off the main sidewalk and start heading away from school. “We’re s’pose to go to school!”

“Eh, this will be better!” Lilly chuckles mischievously as she watched Mae from over her shoulder. “Ya know how Digger got a tattoo? He told me where ta get mine!” Lilly chirps with a smug smirk on her lips. “That’s how I got this!” She pauses as she turns back to point at her shiner with pride. “Totally worth it!” She smirks, her golden orbs reflecting her mirth.

Mae just rolls her eyes. “You always says stuff like that. How is a black eye worth anything? You know we have a book report right? Second period?” She grumbles, she’d put a lot of work into her presentation. 

“It’s worth knownin’ where ta get a tattoo at. And yes I know. We’ll turn it in late, no big. We can take a couple a’ points off. Come on’ dimples, where’s ya sense of adventure?” Lilly scoffs as she drags Mae across a busy street, safely.

“Still with Tom Sawyer, ya know, the book we read, and are suppose to be doing presentations on today. Come on Lilly, I made illustrations to go with mine.” She taps her 

“Tch, we read that book in grade school Mae. It’s degrading.” Lilly grumbles under her breath. “But that’s okay, cause today, we’re gettin’ tattoos, I mean if ya want one. I do. I brought enough cash for both of us.” Lilly chuckles as she turns and winks at Mae, her laughter tripling when she sees Mae’s veridean eyes wide in horror, a disapproving frown in place. “Or not. Come on it’ll be fun, an’ River won’t care if ya get a tattoo.” 

“Momma won’t, but daddy and all my grandparents will care. Besides, we’re not old enough. I don’t care what Digger said, no one did a tattoo for him professionally.” Mae crosses her arms and purses her lips, doing her best to look stern. Digger was such an exaggerator and he was going to get them in trouble again with his stories. 

“It’s a legitimate business, I looked it up. They’re licensed and everything. It’s one of the artists that are shady. So, yer move.” Lilly clucks as she turns a corner and heads down another road. The neighborhood taking a notable shift, the homes and businesses were beginning to look worn and weary. The plants no longer a vibrant green, as they headed to towards the seedier side of town.

Mae looks around with a sad frown. “You know, we can still make it to school on time if we run.” She holds her enchanted rose watch up for Lilly to see.

Lilly rolls her eyes. “We’re fine Mae, promise. We’ll be there by lunch, so unbunch your training bra, and get movin’. I jus’ want a little one, it shouldn’t take long.”

Mae pouts at the reminder that Lilly was getting boobs as she moves her arms to cover her still flat chest. “At least I don’t have a shark down there.”

Lilly snorts in amusement. “That’s not- No. It’s an expression Mae.” She giggles as she turns to eye Mae in amusement.

“You always say a shark is viciously eating you and making you bleed. You cry about it.”

“That's jus’ another bonus ta shark week, makes ya over exaggerate.” Lilly sniffs indignantly. “And I still cry, it pisses me off. It’s jus’ water works for no reason, and pain. So much pain. So much blood. No fuckin’ reason. It sucks and it’s a fuckin’ mess… Usually literally.”

“I never want to get it. It sounds stupid.” Maybe if she kept talking about periods she could slowly coax Lilly back towards the school before it was too late.

Lilly nods somberly. “Oh. It is. The literal fuckin’ worst. It’s been a year and I still don’t know what size tampon to use! How am I s’pose to know if it’s gonna be a ‘light or super’ couple a hours. Gods, dry tampons are just fuckin’ evil incarnate…” She snarls as her eyes glaze over in disgust, her nose slightly scrunched. “Everyone treats ya different too. It’s stupid and fuckin’ dumb, and bleck!” She adds as she swerves Mae down a small side street, ignoring her slight resistance. “Cute. We’re doin’ this. Though I s’pose if ya really want me in a strange, shop with strangers...” Lilly blinks at her innocently as she mock swooned.

Mae pouts again, giving up the idea that they were getting to school today. “Whatever, let's get this over with.” She exclaims as she rolls her eyes, and tucks her chin to her chest as she wrapped her arms around her petulantly.

“There’s the spirit I know an’ love!” Lilly mocks, as she rolls her eyes and drags Mae down another street. 

The sounds of traffic and other commuters drown out as they bantered back and forth with one another.

“So what tiny tattoo are you getting, and where will Regina not see it?” Sometimes it was just

“Oh easy, I want an Ankh at the nape of my hairline, to the base of my neck.” Lilly smiles excitedly as she pulls back her hair, and points to where she wants it. “Right her.” She chirps. “I almost never wear it up, it’ll be a game.”

“She makes you wear it up for all your family pictures.” Mae points out, wondering if Lilly was just taunting the woman at this point.

“I know.” Lilly sighs with a dreamy smile. “It’ll be fabulous.”

“You know, you could just wait a few years. Mom said she wants you to come with us when we do our big vacation for my sweet sixteen. Momma would sign for you to get it then.”

“Dimples, by the time ya turn sixteen I won’t need the permission.” Lilly chuckles as she reaches over and pats the girl on the head. “Also, stop growin.”

“You’ll still be seventeen for a few months when I turn sixteen dummy.” She just sticks her tongue out at Lilly. She used to be the taller one before Lilly got attacked by the period.

“Or I can get it now at fourteen, an’ live on the edge a lil’. It’ll be fun promise.” Lilly winks at her friend, taking a moment to note their surroundings. “We’re close, it’s just one street over.” She claps excitedly as her fingers wrap around Mae’s wrist in a vice like grip and dragged her down the road quickly, giddy to get to the shop.

“Are we there yet?” Mae can’t help but moan. She hated everything about this idea, and they were getting so far away from everything she knew. In fact, she hoped Lilly knew how to get back. She had stopped paying attention to what they were doing.

“Am I jumping excitedly?” Lilly snarks back, with an eyeroll. “Come on twinkle toes.” She stops in front a shop with blacked out windows and paid for graffiti. ‘A touch of Ink’ blinking at them in stuttering red LEDs. “This- This looks promising.” She adds skeptically trying to keep her face blank. Her eyes taking in how filthy the outside of the store looked; the broken glass, the cobwebs, and the trash littering the corners of the building

Mae bites down on her lips as she slowly looks the building over. The art was cool, but she was almost certain one of the stranger symbols looking one was the word fuck. “Uhhhh…” She had so many misgivings she didn’t know where to begin. “So uhh, we doing this or going to school.”

“Nope.” Lilly shakes her head in defiance. “We’re doin’ this.” She exhales deeply as she reaches out and wraps her hand around the handle.

“It’s really okay to not do this. This place is scary Lilly.” Mae pleads, pulling on Lilly’s arm to get her to leave.

“It’ll be fine.” Lilly assures her, but her hesitation causes Mae to tilt her head; was she attempting to convince her? Or was she trying to convince herself? “Stop bein’ a princess, let's do this twinkle toes.” She breathes out as she pushes open the door. The pungent scent of marijuana slapping both teens in the face.

“Lilly. Lilly.... Lilly!” Mae tries to back out of Lilly’s reach, one hundred percent determined to not go inside. Her Mom was understanding, but she was sure they were going to find her limit one day; this seemed like a possible limit.

“It’s just pot.” Lilly grits out, as she pulls Mae inside the building with her. The black door snapping shut behind them with a melancholic jingle. The grungy room was lit by a dim flickering light, the hum of the fluorescents loud. The faux-leather couches were splitting with age and neglect, questionable stains spotting the shown stuffing. The paint was chipping revealing some really bad seventies wallpaper. The strong scent of mildew dispersing the stench of marijuana not helping her opinion. The front counter was stripped and ink of all colors had been scribbled all over it, accompanied by wads of what she hoped was gum. There were poster racks against another wall chipping with rust. And she could literally feel the dirt from the floor from beneath her boots. This entire shop was a disgusting cess trap of gods only knew what. What the hell was wrong with Digger?

“Regina is going to kill both of us for being in here. She knows everything!” She felt like she shouldn’t have to remind Lilly of this; the bruise from where Regina had grabbed her on the back of her arm was still visible just under her band tee sleeve.

“Shh, it’ll be fine. You worry too much dimples. She ain’t gonna find out bout this.” Lilly assures her friend as she hears noise from the backroom. 

“She will when you have to go to the hospital cause you caught something. Like a skin eating bacteria or something.” Mae’s face scrunches up as she eyes the small store, wishing Lilly would just listen to her and leave.

Lilly bites her cheek nervously; this place did look like ripened shit. She couldn’t imagine any of the ‘A Touch of Ink’ actually having a general sanitation procedure either. Her stomach twisted in disgust at just the thought. She felt embarrassed and annoyed as she questioned her decision to trust Digger. He may embellish some, but kid usually did whatever the rumours claimed he did. He was also one of the few acquaintances she had made on her own; the ones Mae usually stayed clear of. This sucked, but she was just gonna have ta eat the crow this time.

“Yo, sup?” A tall lean man asks as he stumbles into the front room. His skin was pulled tightly across his face with wrinkles like trenches. His eyes were glassy and red rimmed as he blinked down at the two young teens. “Can I help ya two?” He drawls, as he leans against the counter and smiles at them. His teeth a distinct yellow, and browning with decay.

Lilly winces slightly. “No. We’re good. Wrong address sorry.” She grumbles as she pulls Mae behind her. “Have a good mornin’.” She chirps as she pushes Mae out the door, following right behind her.

“Oh thank God. Lilly, let’s never do that again. That was scary.” Mae lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“That was disgusting.” Lilly sighs as she starts pulling Mae in the direction they had come from. A small pout of disappointment playing on her lip.

“It was also that. Can we please go to school now and not get in trouble today? Come on, Momma just got our sceduls to match again.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lilly waves dismissively. “I know. Come on, I think I know a shortcut to school. Let’s go lil miss two shoes.” She says as she gently tugs at Mae’s arm, turning down the next street. “Whatta waste a time.” She scoffs as the two of them make their way back to the school, the energy between the two of them calmer, after their botched adventure.

“I’m sorry Lilly. I know you really want a tattoo. But if it’s between that place and waiting a few years, I’m glad you decided to wait. That place was gross. And it smelled funny.” She looked down at her watch, wondering how far they were from the middle school.

“I ain’t dying from willful tetanus. Diggers an idiot. Can’t believe he willingly bled in Pestilence’s playpen.” Lilly snaps; her teeth clicking together loudly. She growls cursing under her breath for several moments, creating a silence between her and Mae before she eventually goes quiet. After another three streets Lilly just shakes her head. “Sorry Mae. I shouldn’t have dragged you there.”

Mae shakes her head. “It’s just better when we stick together.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Lilly sighs as she looks around the intersection. She blinks, before deciding on going west knowing their school was in that general direction,

The two walk in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, neither actually paying attention to where they were going. 

They walk for maybe fifteen more minutes before Mae really looks around. “Lilly?”

“Yeah dimples?” Lilly questions as she looks over to Mae.

“Where are we? I don’t recognize anything.”

“Um-” Lilly mumbles as she looks around for a familiar land mark, her eyebrows scrunching in slight concern when she realized she actually had no idea. “Westward bound.” She responds simply, with a shrug as she continues to walk.

“But, where are we?”

“Sioux Falls.” Lilly deadpans. “Come on Princess, surely ya recognize yer own kingdom.”

Mae rolls her eyes. “Haha funny.”

“I thought so.” Lilly chirps with a playful smile. 

“Should we find a place so I can call Mom?”

Lilly looks around her eyes brightening when she sees a much nicer tattoo parlour. “Yeah, let's do that. Let’s try the ‘White Rabbit’, they sound nice.”

Mae looks up at the shop Lilly was referring to before she shakes her head. “Oh no, we are not trying that again so soon after the last scary adventure. And didn’t you say that Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland was all about drugs? This one is advertising it. No, no no no, nope all over the place.” She looks around for a payphone, deciding that now she needed her mom to come bail them out of this situation, before they really got in trouble. 

“Yes we are! This one looks a helluva lot nicer. It’s speakin’ ta me dimples. I gotta do this. You can stay here.” Lilly talks over Mae, as she turns and rushes across the street. “I’ll call Riv, no worries!” She yells back, jumping out of the way as a car whizzed past, narrowly missing her. “Fuck!” She curses. She looks across the street at Mae. “Wouldn’t suggest that!” She calls out cautiously as the light turns green and the street fills with speeding cars. 

Mae turns back to Lilly, wide eyed as she disappears into the White Rabbit. With an undignified screech she rushes to the side of the street, quickly agreeing with Lilly’s advice. Her stomach knots as she looks for the closest crosswalk, cursing Lilly’s impulsive behavior. 

2

Lilly pushes open the door to the shop, smiling when she notes the stark contrast between this shop and the last. Even the smell here was pleasant; bleach with a splash of lavender. That was certainly a smell she could deal with. The shop was a bit darker, the walls painted a dove gray with framed black and white art hung in collages on the walls. Small decorative lanterns lit up the interior along with several strings of bulb lights, giving the room a soft glow. The couches were a shiny red pleather, and the floor was white as chalk and had black rugs strategically placed out. She smiled happily as she thrummed with excitement. This place was already leaps and bounds superior to the last. She was going to get the damned tattoo. 

“Hello?” She calls out confidently after striding to the counter. Her eyes narrow slightly as she stood at the front desk, that came up to her chest. She really wasn’t getting anything out of her damn period. She was just barely five foot two, and she was waiting for her damn growth spurt; if she went up another cup size she was going to cry. It was already frustrating finding pretty D cups, she didn’t want to end up just being a walking pair of tits. She was pulled from her thoughts as someone finally opens the back door.

“Mornin’.” A large man gruffs, cracking his neck as he looks down at the small girl standing at his counter. “Ain’t there school today kid?”

“I’m actually here ta talk about a tattoo.” Lilly responds with a beguiling smile. “I have cash.”

“Ya, not happen’ squirt.” The man chuckles as he reaches over and musses up the teens hair. “Cute try. Do you have any idea how much I’d get in trouble if I inked ya? I think not. Come back in ah few years.”

“No, look.” Lilly sighs as she pulls her backpack closer, her hand disappearing into the canvas before she pulled out a fat stack of money. “Really, I can pay.” 

He raises his brow at the wad of cash in her hand. “What’s yer name kid?”

Lilly blinks, her eyes sliding to the side slightly. “I don’t think that's relevant.”

“I ain’t inkin’ ya without ID. Thems the rules.” He chuckles shaking his head at the girls audacity. “Seriously what are ya thirteen? What the hell are ya even doin’?” 

Lilly rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. “I’m eighteen.” She says as she slams her fake ID on the counter with confidence.

“Bullshit.” He snorts, with a look of disbelief. His eyes sweeping over the piece of plastic. “Impressive, Anna Maria Maximoff-” He holds up his hand. “Don’t even wanna know why ya ship that, but you ain’t the only one who likes Marvel ya lil’ brat.”

Lilly blushes looking to the counter thoroughly cowed. “Fine. I’m seven-”

“Try again.” The man says with a shake of his head.

“Fine. I’m fuckin’ not eighteen okay, but I’m close. Surely we can make a deal or something? I have cash.”. 

“Hell no. I still don’t know who ya are. I run a legitimate tattoo parlor here, you want something else get yer ass outta here and go find it.” He flicks one hand towards the door dismissively as he pulls out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and begins cleaning something silvery.

Lilly takes a deep breath, and drags her hand through her hair. “My names Lilly O'Connell alright.” She relents, her eyes narrowed in determination, noting his actions with a smile.

“O’Connell? Like Mayor O’Connell’s kid? Hell, I thought you looked vaguely familiar.” He slams one hand down on the countertop. “Get the fuck outta my shop.”

“Oh come on!” Lilly snaps as she plants her palms on the counter. “I won’t tell her where I got it. I just don’t want Hep C for my effort.”

“Look ya little lying bitch. I ain’t never gonna ink ya, take yer money and go, it ain’t no good here.”

“Oh Amun-fuckin-Ra, seriously?” Lilly scoffs with an eyeroll. This whole puberty thing was really kicking her ass. She tucks her money back into her bag and zips it shut, before shrugging it back into place.

“Do you know how hard I had to work to get this shitty little shop in the not so bad neighborhood? Do you know what I’ve had to put up with because I’m attached to this conservative as fuck city and gay? And here ya come, thinking the whole goddamned world revolves around you, and you want a fucking tattoo. It don’t matter if ya ain’t old enough, you’ve got plenty of mommy’s money to throw at me and expect me ta roll over and give ya what ya want?” He growls out, slowly coming out from behind the counter to bear down on her menacingly. 

“Hey, I made that money fair and square, thank you.” Lilly sniffs indignantly, keeping her feet firmly planted in front of the desk. 

“Oh I’m sure a tween like you knows exactly what hard work is.” He reaches out far faster than she had been willing to give him credit for and grabs her by her collar. 

“Offensive. But not the point! Can we please just get back to the tattoo please?” Lilly asks as she winces at the swift motion. Her hands coming up defensively.

“You entitled bitch. Ya ain’t ruining all my hard work.” He pulls his other arm back and punches her hard in the stomach.

Lilly curses, her anger flaring as she bent over in pain. “I ain’t tryna ruin shit!” She heaves out. “I jus’ wanna tattoo!” She wheezes as she holds her hand across her gut.

“Fuck you, you treacherous little bitch.” He backhands her across her face, hard enough to straighten her back again.

“Right.” Lilly sees spots floating in front of her face. His angry face in front of her shifts in and out of focus. “Seriously-” She groans, wincing as she sees his fist pull back again. The jingling of the door opening somewhere behind her was the most beautiful sound she thought had ever been made.

“Lilly! Oh my god, let her go!” Mae runs up to Lilly and begins to fight the man’s grip on her. “Stop! Please!” Mae screeches in panic.

The burly man blinks and his hands slowly release Lilly with a look of horror on his face. He takes a step back, looking between the two girls in confusion. “What the fuck?” He blinks.

“So-” Lilly chirps as she wipes the blood from her lip. “Bout that tattoo?” She asks hopefully, undeterred by the rough treatment. She’d learned to get use to it, it had just been awhile since such a dense man had lost it with her. Stars still sparkled in the distance when she wasn’t focusing.

Tears runs down Mae’s face as she shakes Lilly by her shoulders. “Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I really want a tattoo?” Lilly shrugs as she looks at Mae’s face. Her hand comes up as she thumbs away Mae’s tear. “Don’t be sad. I’ll get the ink eventually. No need ta be such a cry baby bout it Mae.” 

Mae let’s out a strangled growl. “I. Am. Not. Crying. Because. I’m. Sad. I’m. Just. Trying. To. Not. Kill. You. Right. Now. And. It’s. Frust. Rating. That. I. Can’t.” She explains, punctuating each word with a small shake.

Lilly frowns, as she lifts up her other hand and pats Mae on the head. “It’s fine Mae, me and uh, excuse me sir… What was your name again?” She asks as she looks over to the tattoo artist.

“Uh...Clay?” He offers still looking horrified as his eyes darted from Lilly to his hand with concern.

“Clay and I were jus’ discussin’ the details. Ain’t that-” Lilly starts only to be shaken abruptly from her thoughts.

“Stop.” Clay shakes his head. “What the fuck was that?”

“Oh, I hit puberty.” Lilly explains with a shrug.

Clay opens his mouth and tilts his head to the side in blatant confusion before he shuts it again, one hand coming up to rub at his temples as he looked down at the two girls in confusion. He shakes his head and grabs a white peice of paper from under the counter. “Here. Jus’ get it filled out by you’re gaurdian. First tat’s on me, but I need the both of you and your fake ID out of my parlour please.”

“We’re sorry sir.” Mae gives Clay a sad little frown.

Lilly sighs as she takes the slip of paper. “Sorry, Clay. My bad. See ya soon.” She sighs as she collects the paper off the counter, and silently steps back next to Mae.

The two girls walk out of the shop, leaving the still flustered Clay to stare at his hand, wondering why the hell he’d hit a kid. Something inside him had just snapped. His entire frame was trembling, fearful of the actions that had just played out. Something was off with those two girls; or he had finally just broken under the pressure this town was putting him under. Maybe it was time for a vacation, he just hit a damn kid. He had spent the last five years establishing himself, he just needed a break.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any ideas of scenes you would like to see, questions you would like answered, ect... let us know and we will do our best to oblige. Please leave us a comment :)


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